It has been a helluva long time since I've written, I have as of last month moved from my beloved country home into my mother's big house to pay the expenses for her and my brother as she was recently let go from her job. As we know, economical times are tuff right now so it has been no cake-walk for her getting a new job. And anyways, she is getting older and I feel bad that she even has to work but the money is tight and I am a natural born shopper, so this plays a part of waking up moody on a Saturday for there will be no shopping for me.
With springtime in the air, the mood was right for a yummy breakfast - so after garage sailing we went to Willow Wood in Graton for breakfast and shared the Country Scramble and a delicious polenta dish. I continued sucking down cups of coffee in a effort to shake the mood. Subsequently, Camelia (sister) and Jason (her man) walked in! They took seats next to us and we began planning this summers trip to watch Camelia graduate with her masters from the college she attends in Vermont. It will be fun - we are considering Quebec or Washington D.C. from that point.
When I was younger, maybe 10, ya for my 10th birthday, my mom took my favorite cousin Victoria and I to Washington D.C. - It was a fulfilling trip, I remember feeling very happy that I got my mom and my cousin all to myself. We visited the Smithsonian and the Arlington and took the subway (for my first time) - the highlight was watching the fireworks for the 4th of July over the Washington Monument. Something I will never forget.
I woke up this morning from a dream of my Grandfather whom I miss desperately. It is amazing the attachments we have to people. With him gone, nothing feels quite as secure. He acted as a beacon, a rock; A direct path to understanding how and why I am. He was full of good thoughts, like his saying
"When you are sleeping you are not living"My dream was about how we had hired a maid who was my age, and I was trying to get her fired because she was competing with me. We had to let someone go at work so I am sure this ties in some how.
I am now in front of my computer and my next step is to figure out what I am going to do with the rest of my day. I know I should be out gardening (check out my blog for gardening here: http://girlswholovedirt.blogspot.com/) but I feel very unattached to this garden and am having a hard time getting into cultivating the earth here.
My mind is all over the place.... I just want to do nothing and everything all at once.
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